Called my dad this morning.
And God has a way of healing those old wounds. Wounds that have cut deep to a person’s soul, that help form the person we become…yes, those too can be healed.
The restoration with my father didn’t happen overnight. And I can’t point to one particular moment and say: ‘That was when we were restored.’ No, it didn’t happen like that for me. It has been a process; a process of working through all the negative feelings I had growing up.
I can’t go back and re-write my history. What matters is the here and now. What matters is my future. And the future I leave for my children and grandchildren. I do not want to leave a legacy of the aforementioned ‘hurt, anger, bitterness, sadness and confusion’. No, I want to leave a legacy of love, affection, forgiveness and overcoming obstacles.
Told him who it is that is calling. (He called me by my sister's name even though she was at his house.)
Speak. Wait. Repeat. Speak. Wait. Repeat.
End of conversation.
Phone conversations with my father do not last long these days. His 82 years and sometimes turned off hearing aid makes sure of that. Not that our conversations ever lasted long to begin with but the time seems even shorter now. With me here in the Pacific Northwest and him in Arizona, phone calls are about all we have for conversation right now.
There was a time when I never called him. Nor did he call me for that matter. Our relationship was estranged at best. Childhood memories dictated how I felt about him. Memories that are best left unspoken anymore, helped form my opinions about him. Family dynamics growing up also helped me decide whether I wanted relationship with him or not. I did not. And I made sure to not involve him in my life, including my wedding day, 20 years ago
But time has a way of changing perspective, if you let it.
And God has a way of healing those old wounds. Wounds that have cut deep to a person’s soul, that help form the person we become…yes, those too can be healed.
The restoration with my father didn’t happen overnight. And I can’t point to one particular moment and say: ‘That was when we were restored.’ No, it didn’t happen like that for me. It has been a process; a process of working through all the negative feelings I had growing up.
Being far removed from my father as long as I have, as well as the rest of the family, on a daily/weekly basis, has allowed me to think things through. To process the past without the constant reminder of them – God used that time to help me forgive. He used it to help me trust Him, my Heavenly Father. If I can’t trust and love my Heavenly Father, there is no way I can do that with my earthly Father.
God used my separation from my family to heal those wounds and draw me close to Him. Separation from family isn't for everyone. Healing can only come if you want it and are willing to let God peel those layers of wounds from your heart. God has for me. Nobody is promised tomorrow. It's a shame to waste today on feeding old wounds.
Called my dad this morning.
We spoke for only a short time. But......we spoke.
Some people never get that chance again.
I love you Dad.
Until next time,
RSPS Sunny
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