Nine years ago yesterday, I was pregnant with my last child. Ooh. Just typing that out now brought a twinge of sadness to my heart. Nevertheless, my last child was born yesterday. I didn't have him until the evening time but since it is early morning on the 18th, technically at this time yesterday I was still pregnant 9 years ago. (Note to self: don't blog in the early morning hours, lest you continually ramble on & on....like right now). As I was saying, 9 years ago yesterday I was pregnant. Last child. Done. Finito. That's it. No more. And that is a good thing, considering I am 42 years old with a couple of grandbabies (one biologically and one by heart).
Anyway, Gage's birthday was yesterday and it is his last year of single digits. I don't know if you think like me (and hopefully you don't), but I remember how excited I was before my 10th birthday. I couldn't wait to turn 10 and be in double digits. To me, there was something really special about being double digits. Maybe I thought it would make me older (well, duh); older as in more of an adult if I was in double digits. Maybe my family wouldn't treat me like the little pipsqueak, baby of the family that I was; always getting picked on (insert pity party here). Maybe, I'd be different somehow. Hmm, well that thinking didn't get me very far when I turned 10. Nothing changed.
So, as Gage's birthday approached, I talked to him about the single digit-double digit idea. And you know what I got? Nothing. It didn't phase him one 'single' bit. The only thing that mattered to him was what presents he was going to get. Or was it the party he was going to have? Or it was the fact that his family (the Spokane branch at least) were coming over to celebrate his birthday? What innocent, pure thinking.
Ahh to be nine again. Yes, I told Gage that I used to think that turning 10 would be a big deal. But, as I listened and watched him enjoy the days leading up to his birthday, and the day itself of course, I just marveled. I marveled at how much my son just enjoys life in the moment. He has always been full of just pure joy. There's always been joy in his heart. And as he turned 9, I just loved on him all day long. I got lots of hugs, kisses and precious moments with him. "Gage Loves" is what I call them.
And so, I changed my thought process. Instead of telling Gage about my double digit theory, I said how cool it would be to turn 9 again. He asked me why. I said because it would be so cool to be that young again. He smiled and didn't say another word about--he just went to play.
Living in the moment. With joy. I don't think I know how to quite do that. As you see, when I was little I wanted to be something I was not. I wanted to be older, not the baby, etc. But, my son enjoys who he is, right now. How precious that quality is. My husband and I have worked very hard to provide unconditional love, encouragement and support for our kids. We haven't always made the right decisions or said the right things, but they do know that we love them unconditionally, or at least they should. Right now, our Gage knows that. And he is confident in that love so he knows who he is. He is a 9 year old boy.
Today, live in the moment, with joy, and be who you are.
Until next time,
RSPS Sunny
0 comments:
Post a Comment