I've made it through the 1st weekend of my favorite time of year: March Madness. While my team, the University of Arizona Wildcats, did not make it into the tournament (after 25 straight appearances), I still watched a lot of basketball this past weekend. In fact, I even took some time off from work (approved of course), just so I could watch it.
My original plan was to just watch it at home. I found out that a friend was also taking time off from work just to watch basketball. So, I connected up with her at a local tavern/restaurant to watch multiple games at the same time...one of which was on a screen that took up a whole wall, height-wise. I was in basketball heaven. Or, so I thought.
Now before anyone objects about a Christian would set foot in a tavern/bar/etc., I shall explain. On second thought, no there's no explanation needed. I went to a tavern to watch sports. I didn't drink, smoke, cavort, flirt or anything like that. I just wanted to sit with a friend and watch basketball. Nothing more, nothing less. I'm sure some Christians out there may not like that or some non-Christians would call me a hypocrite but no matter. Read on......
Being able to watch basketball on multiple televisions at the same time was a first-time experience for me. I had never done that before. I watched multiple games on my computer but trying to watch 4 games in 4 different windows on 1 monitor just loses a little something (ya'think?). Anyway, this was new and fun for me. But, it also gave me a different perspective.
See, I tend to judge people based on their choices. Choices, to me, reflect who a person really is or what's in their heart. That thinking is true at it's very core. However, that thinking doesn't allow for grace for a person's circumstances. When I first went to the tavern I expected there to be a lot of drinking (which there was)As I sat there watching basketball for 2 days at this tavern, I was able to observe a wide variety of people. I saw couples, groups of young men, groups of older men, groups of couples, individuals, a gay couple (I think), families (in the non-bar area). There also seemed to be quite a few regulars, talking with each other even though they didn't arrive together or those talking with the wait staff or bartenders like they've know them for years. There was one particluar person though that struck me as odd and she wasn't even a customer.
On my second excursion, towards the end of the afternoon, a young lady arrived that looked like one of the waitresses. It was right before the shift change and she was sitting at the bar chatting with the other waitresses. She had a shot of alcohol in one glass & a Coke in the other. And she sat, and sat, and sat, talking either on her phone or with the rest of the staff. I kept watching her and waiting for her to start work but she didn't. She just sat and talked. She went and had a conversation with some of the regulars, answered some questions for another customer, continued chatting and at times, when she had nobody to talk to she just sat and drank. And I thought, how lonely she must be to have to come to her job before her shift to find connection or relationship. My friend told me about the waitress we had on the first day who stayed around the tavern after her shift and got completely drunk; nothing to go home to maybe? Lonely waitresses?
And as I looked around even more, I began to see more of that same mentality among the customers. There was a husband & wife that were hanging out with friends at a table but they had brought their kids too; the tavern served full meals so maybe it was to eat. But, this couple stayed for hours while their kids sat without much to do. The son could watch basketball on one of the tv's but the daughter wasn't interested in that. The parents "had fun" at the expense of their kids. Lonely parents?
Several older men came in by themselves and sat at the bar. They ordered their drinks, something to eat and just talked with the bartenders or waitresses about anything. Nobody came to sit with them unless one of the other regulars came in. And then it was just shootin' the breeze for a few minutes and that was it. Lonely seniors?
I could go on and on. It's kind of depressing to think about it. The real world is not like the old Cheers show ("where everybody knows your name"). People may know your name but do you really connect with people there? Probably. They probably do. But how sad is it that they have GO somewhere to find it? They have to fill that loneliness in their hearts with a drink, in a place full of other lonely people. They may think they have 'friends' there. But, how many of them would be there if a family member is sick in the hospital? Or a family member is tragically killed? Or if they lost their job? Would they go to them to comfort and help them? Or would they only meet them at the bar? Friendship/relationships go beyond the four walls of familiarity. They go to the very core of human heart. You can't always be comfortable in true friendships/relationships. They should challenge and cause one to grow. And if they don't, then it's simply a surface connection without the depth of love, hope and security. Where's the joy in that?
Until next time,
RSPS Sunny
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