Somehow I knew it would get to this. One of my hesitations in starting a blog is the accountability it brings. My last post said I'd 'ponder/think/dwell' more with the idea LIVE or live life and post more later. Ugh!! I could take the easy way out & just stop blogging altogether. Quitting and running is something I've gotten quite good at in my life. Not 'bragging' but just stating a fact. In the last 5-10 years however, I've also challenged myself to face an uncertain task or event I'm faced with. This blog is by no means "life" or death but it is turning out to be a challenge. Not sure where it will lead, but I started it so I will continue to blog another day......(cue hero music...NOT).
I digress, only a little. The night after my last post, I felt really good about it & the direction I thought it was supposed to go. A couple of days or so has passed since then & I have been pushing it to the back of my mind, preferably never to be heard from again. Why? I have this insane fear of sounding or looking stupid. I am by no means a bible scholar, nor evangelist, Christian author, pastor/preacher/teacher, or any other title/position involved in Christianity. People could argue with me or make one criticism of something I have said/done in a post or even a simple conversation, and it pierces my heart. I know I shouldn't let it but it does. I think it has to do with my identity.
My identity for most of my life has been in what others have said to me or about me. Not going to get into it here but growing up, I craved the acceptance and words of praise from those around me. I didn't get it very much. As I grew, I looked for it in other ways but the underlying feeling was still there. Still is to some extent. However, I have grown to be more selective in who I look for words from. My husband, certain family members, very few friends, my children and probably my pastors. There is one exception to that list.
~~~~If I know/believe I have heard from God about something and someone who is respected says something that almost contradicts what I believe, I am completely thrown for a loop. I don't handle it very well. I tend to get hurt, angry, and the like toward that person. They may not have meant it in a derogatory way but that's how "I took it". It's almost as if it's a slam against me as a person. It causes me to question whether or not I actually heard God or no; whether I know God at all. I don't even necessarily have to know the person--if they just say something contrary to what I heard....look out. It's not a pretty sight.~~~~
Nevertheless, I am posting this blog for all to see. I will attempt to continue this no matter how critical people get; even those closest to me. I will LIVE life unashamedly, unabashedly as God's blogging mama. How do I do that? Hmm.....let's see:
L=Love with mercy
As I said before, sometimes I don't take criticism very well. The criticism I take quite personally. Does it affect my life? Sure does. I'm a dweller/thinker/ponderer so those words have a long shelf life in my brain. That's not to say I don't forgive them. Forgiveness is not the same as forgetting. Forgiveness is a heart choice; forgetting is a 'brain' choice. They're both choices that we make and have to walk out; not easy to do regardless. So even if someone hurts me with their words, to LIVE life, I must choose to "Love with mercy".
In searching for a definition of mercy I found this: "A disposition to be kind and forgiving" http://www.thefreedictionary.com/mercy. Whew, does that hit the nail on the head. In Matthew, chapter 18, Jesus tells Peter a parable (story) about a king who wanted to settle the debts his servants had with him. In the parable, one of his servants begged the king for more time to settle his debt (asked for mercy). The king had mercy by cancelling the debt (showed kindness and forgiveness). That same servant went out and found a man who owed him a debt (much less than what the servant had owed the king). The man begged for more time (mercy) but the servant refused (unkind and unforgiving). The servant then had the man thrown in prison for failure to pay his debt. Other servants heard of this action and went to tell the king. Upon hearing the news, the king brought the servant in and said: "Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?" (verse 33). I'll let you read what happens to him yourself in Matthew 18, verse 34.
God has given me mercy. He is kind and forgiving of me when I say or do something wrong or stupid; even when something I say hurts someone else. So, I need to apply that same principle here. "Love with mercy", even if it hurts.
Do you "Love with mercy"? Loving with mercy means everyone; not just those you choose to have in your sphere of influence. I could go on and on but I'll leave it at that for YOU to dwell/ponder/think about.
Until next time,
RSPS Sunny
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Sunday, December 27, 2009
What Life Do You Live?
I am a ponderer. I am a thinker. I am a dweller.
When a thought or idea gets into my head that I can't shake, I tend to ponder, think & dwell in that thought. I think that's why I like the idea of blogging so much. I want to be able to put my thoughts down somewhere that I can share. They're probably just my own off the wall type of thoughts but, maybe just one person out there might "relate"???? Here's my latest.
Live!
(Not live as in "live in concert" but live as in "live life". )
Live!
Whew. Kind of a no-brainer at first glance. But when you ponder, think & dwell on it...well, it gets a little more deeper than that. When you step back and apply that one little word to every aspect of "your life", well the meaning of it explodes. I have been asking myself the question, "Are you living life?", for the last 24 hours or so since the thought popped into my head. My first answer would be a resounding YES!! I wake up every morning. I love my family. I work at my job (too much sometimes). I live.
Okay, so that sounds like a normal response. Not that I'm normal in any way but normal, for argument's sake. Live! Doesn't sound like much more is needed does it? Webster's defines it as:
to be alive; to continue alive; to maintain oneself; to have a life rich experience.
Well, I am alive so I've got the first two down. It's the other two that I don't quite have down yet. I've been on this earth for over 40 years now but I don't think I've had a long "life rich experience" yet. I'd like to live as long as my grandmother did; she lived to age 95. She had a long "life rich experience" in those 95 years. I should be so blessed to "live" that long and see/experience all that she did. She lived through the bygone days of the Depression, dawn of electricity, the birth of television, and racism in the early decades of the 20th century all the way through the internet age of the 21st century. She experienced life in more ways than I can blog about. I'm not there....YET.
It's that third definition that is a bit puzzling to me at the moment. Even before I looked at Webster's definition, I was examining my life with the word "live", which in a sense is how you "maintain oneself". My life consists of God, husband, family, work, church and anything else thereafter. The question then becomes:
Am I maintaining oneself (i.e. me, my identity, who I am) with my relationship with God? My husband? My family? My work? At church? Everything? Ouch! Kind of makes you stop & think, doesn't it?
If it doesn't, God bless you. May you enjoy a rich, life experience!!!!!
If it does, well come back later this week as I explore this. I think I need to ponder, think and dwell on this a little more. I'm not sure if I'm going to like this exploration. If I don't, well that's the end of this blog and I'll move on to more happier posts. =) But if I'm willing to work through it, I'll try to post again by the end of this week. Just in time for the new year!!! What a way to start 2010 that would be.
LIVE!!!
Until next time,
RSPS Sunny
When a thought or idea gets into my head that I can't shake, I tend to ponder, think & dwell in that thought. I think that's why I like the idea of blogging so much. I want to be able to put my thoughts down somewhere that I can share. They're probably just my own off the wall type of thoughts but, maybe just one person out there might "relate"???? Here's my latest.
Live!
(Not live as in "live in concert" but live as in "live life". )
Live!
Whew. Kind of a no-brainer at first glance. But when you ponder, think & dwell on it...well, it gets a little more deeper than that. When you step back and apply that one little word to every aspect of "your life", well the meaning of it explodes. I have been asking myself the question, "Are you living life?", for the last 24 hours or so since the thought popped into my head. My first answer would be a resounding YES!! I wake up every morning. I love my family. I work at my job (too much sometimes). I live.
Okay, so that sounds like a normal response. Not that I'm normal in any way but normal, for argument's sake. Live! Doesn't sound like much more is needed does it? Webster's defines it as:
to be alive; to continue alive; to maintain oneself; to have a life rich experience.
Well, I am alive so I've got the first two down. It's the other two that I don't quite have down yet. I've been on this earth for over 40 years now but I don't think I've had a long "life rich experience" yet. I'd like to live as long as my grandmother did; she lived to age 95. She had a long "life rich experience" in those 95 years. I should be so blessed to "live" that long and see/experience all that she did. She lived through the bygone days of the Depression, dawn of electricity, the birth of television, and racism in the early decades of the 20th century all the way through the internet age of the 21st century. She experienced life in more ways than I can blog about. I'm not there....YET.
It's that third definition that is a bit puzzling to me at the moment. Even before I looked at Webster's definition, I was examining my life with the word "live", which in a sense is how you "maintain oneself". My life consists of God, husband, family, work, church and anything else thereafter. The question then becomes:
Am I maintaining oneself (i.e. me, my identity, who I am) with my relationship with God? My husband? My family? My work? At church? Everything? Ouch! Kind of makes you stop & think, doesn't it?
If it doesn't, God bless you. May you enjoy a rich, life experience!!!!!
If it does, well come back later this week as I explore this. I think I need to ponder, think and dwell on this a little more. I'm not sure if I'm going to like this exploration. If I don't, well that's the end of this blog and I'll move on to more happier posts. =) But if I'm willing to work through it, I'll try to post again by the end of this week. Just in time for the new year!!! What a way to start 2010 that would be.
LIVE!!!
Until next time,
RSPS Sunny
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Twitter, Facebook & the Godless Void
I feel old. Not all of the time; just some of the time. But there's one area where I am determined not to "feel" old. Yes, I am in my 40's & I am a Nana but I will not be left behind in the area of technology.
It took me a long time to join Facebook but I am officially an FB'er. I did that maybe 5 or 6 months ago. There was just something about the whole "being friends" & sharing information that I didn't trust. I am someone who values my privacy (kind of odd for someone who is writing a blog I know), but I do. I am a pretty private person. I don't allow too many people into my circle; been burned too many times for that. Nevertheless, I joined Facebook. I didn't do much with it at first. But slowly, more & more people asked to be my friend, or vice-versa, and I am hooked. Not overly so, but I check it often enough each week to say I have a slight addiction to it.
Which leads me to Twitter. Now that, I am addicted to. At first I thought it was just something you did with texting & your cell phone. I have a pay as you go phone so receiving thousands of texts is not my idea of fun. But lo & behold, I can keep up to date with things on Twitter's website. OH THE JOY! I lvoe sports. I have found so many people & companies that I can follow that's just sports. I've found out about so many different sports happenings before others that it's exciting. Love it!! I'm not into getting a bunch of followers. I'm just in it to follow the things that mean something to me.
However, it's had one unexpected 'benefit'. I came across an interesting tweet by a woman in London. I think I was looking at all of the tweets with the name "Santa" in them. This particular woman, who I'll call "Laura", asked Santa to 'not let her be yellow for Christmas'. My first thought was, 'What is she talking about'? So I clicked on her profile & discovered that she was an alcoholic. For several days in a row, 'Laura' boasted about all of the different bars she had been to. As I sat there reading her tweets, I felt such sadness and compassion for this woman I didn't even know.
Right then & there, I started 'following' her and began to pray. Each day I get on the computer, I am sure to check my Twitter page to see all the current updates. While I am excited about the sports tweets I get, I also am quickly checking for a tweet from 'Laura'. I am anxious to see how she is doing. I also am prompted to pray for her every time I check. I pray she finds Jesus. There is a void in her heart right now. It's a void that she & so many others try to fill with alcohol but is never satisfied. Others try to fill it with drugs, money, sex, work, you name it. That void just remains the same; ever empty.
I heard a song once called "God Shaped Hole" by Plumb. The chorus:
"There's a God-shaped hole in all of us.
And the restless soul is searching.
There's a God-shaped hole in all of us.
And it's a void only He can fill."
That song echoes what "Laura" and many people like her are dealing with this Christmas. Many don't want to acknowledge God, let alone say they "need" Him. But, they do. There is no amount of alcohol, drugs, money, sex or work that can fill the void in every person's heart. It's a hole only God can fill. It's a hole that He passionately longs to fill in each of us.
My prayer for "Laura" and all of you, is that no matter who you are, or where you are in your realtionship with God, is that He would be your "void-filler". And the peace, joy, serenity, clarity, hope, & love that we all long for would be yours this holiday season and always.
Got a void? Get Jesus!
Until next time,
RSPS Sunny
It took me a long time to join Facebook but I am officially an FB'er. I did that maybe 5 or 6 months ago. There was just something about the whole "being friends" & sharing information that I didn't trust. I am someone who values my privacy (kind of odd for someone who is writing a blog I know), but I do. I am a pretty private person. I don't allow too many people into my circle; been burned too many times for that. Nevertheless, I joined Facebook. I didn't do much with it at first. But slowly, more & more people asked to be my friend, or vice-versa, and I am hooked. Not overly so, but I check it often enough each week to say I have a slight addiction to it.
Which leads me to Twitter. Now that, I am addicted to. At first I thought it was just something you did with texting & your cell phone. I have a pay as you go phone so receiving thousands of texts is not my idea of fun. But lo & behold, I can keep up to date with things on Twitter's website. OH THE JOY! I lvoe sports. I have found so many people & companies that I can follow that's just sports. I've found out about so many different sports happenings before others that it's exciting. Love it!! I'm not into getting a bunch of followers. I'm just in it to follow the things that mean something to me.
However, it's had one unexpected 'benefit'. I came across an interesting tweet by a woman in London. I think I was looking at all of the tweets with the name "Santa" in them. This particular woman, who I'll call "Laura", asked Santa to 'not let her be yellow for Christmas'. My first thought was, 'What is she talking about'? So I clicked on her profile & discovered that she was an alcoholic. For several days in a row, 'Laura' boasted about all of the different bars she had been to. As I sat there reading her tweets, I felt such sadness and compassion for this woman I didn't even know.
Right then & there, I started 'following' her and began to pray. Each day I get on the computer, I am sure to check my Twitter page to see all the current updates. While I am excited about the sports tweets I get, I also am quickly checking for a tweet from 'Laura'. I am anxious to see how she is doing. I also am prompted to pray for her every time I check. I pray she finds Jesus. There is a void in her heart right now. It's a void that she & so many others try to fill with alcohol but is never satisfied. Others try to fill it with drugs, money, sex, work, you name it. That void just remains the same; ever empty.
I heard a song once called "God Shaped Hole" by Plumb. The chorus:
"There's a God-shaped hole in all of us.
And the restless soul is searching.
There's a God-shaped hole in all of us.
And it's a void only He can fill."
That song echoes what "Laura" and many people like her are dealing with this Christmas. Many don't want to acknowledge God, let alone say they "need" Him. But, they do. There is no amount of alcohol, drugs, money, sex or work that can fill the void in every person's heart. It's a hole only God can fill. It's a hole that He passionately longs to fill in each of us.
My prayer for "Laura" and all of you, is that no matter who you are, or where you are in your realtionship with God, is that He would be your "void-filler". And the peace, joy, serenity, clarity, hope, & love that we all long for would be yours this holiday season and always.
Got a void? Get Jesus!
Until next time,
RSPS Sunny
Monday, December 21, 2009
Popcorn, Hot Cider & Rudolph
Kids. They are the best. I love mine quite passionately. They challenge me, yes. But mostly they bring me great joy. As was the case last night.
My youngest & I watched Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer last night. I think it was kind of a makeup time for me with him. When we decorated our tree, I had told him we'd pop popcorn & drink some cider. Well, we did decorate it but the night we did it, I had just worked over 40 hours that week so needless to say, I was exhausted. I tried my best to be cheery but to no avail. So Rudolph night became making up time toward my son.
With our popcorn & our cups of hot cider, we embarked downstairs. Clad in our pj's, clutching our pillows, we began. Remembering when I was little & what parts made me laugh, I was thrilled to listen when my son laughed at Yukon Cornelius. Yukon throwing his pick-axe in the air, picking it up after it lands, smelling & then licking it checking for gold. We even sang some of the songs together. Chowing down on popcorn & drinking our cider; what great fun.
And as I write this now, I'm realizing time is passing quickly. He is growing quickly. As our youngest, I don't want him growing up too quickly. If I could capture this moment forever, I would. Put it in a snowglobe if you will. Remember the scene in "The Santa Clause" where Bernard the elf gives Charlie the snowglobe that he can shake & be able to see his dad whenever he wants? I would love to put these types of memories in a snowglobe like that. And whenever I want to see that time, I just shake it up & remember these special times.
What about you? If you could capture a memory in a snowglobe, what would you put in yours?
Til next time,
RSPS Sunny
My youngest & I watched Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer last night. I think it was kind of a makeup time for me with him. When we decorated our tree, I had told him we'd pop popcorn & drink some cider. Well, we did decorate it but the night we did it, I had just worked over 40 hours that week so needless to say, I was exhausted. I tried my best to be cheery but to no avail. So Rudolph night became making up time toward my son.
With our popcorn & our cups of hot cider, we embarked downstairs. Clad in our pj's, clutching our pillows, we began. Remembering when I was little & what parts made me laugh, I was thrilled to listen when my son laughed at Yukon Cornelius. Yukon throwing his pick-axe in the air, picking it up after it lands, smelling & then licking it checking for gold. We even sang some of the songs together. Chowing down on popcorn & drinking our cider; what great fun.
And as I write this now, I'm realizing time is passing quickly. He is growing quickly. As our youngest, I don't want him growing up too quickly. If I could capture this moment forever, I would. Put it in a snowglobe if you will. Remember the scene in "The Santa Clause" where Bernard the elf gives Charlie the snowglobe that he can shake & be able to see his dad whenever he wants? I would love to put these types of memories in a snowglobe like that. And whenever I want to see that time, I just shake it up & remember these special times.
What about you? If you could capture a memory in a snowglobe, what would you put in yours?
Til next time,
RSPS Sunny
Monday, December 7, 2009
Fart, fart, blpp, blpp, oh what a relief it is???
I live in a house filled with boys. Stinky, smelly, cooty-filled boys. Let me correct that & say fart-filled boys. Why am I blogging about farts? Oh let me count the ways.....I mean farts....
Working downstairs this morning, I heard our eldest son come downstairs to take care of his laundry (yes, he does his own laundry). I expected at least a 'Morning Mom' when he reached the bottom of the stairs. Is that what I heard? No. BLPPPPP is what I heard. I'm not quite sure how you spell the sound of a fart so please no critiquing my spelling. That is my best guess. Anyway, that was how I was greeted this morning.
A short time later, the pitter patter of the youngest one's feet echoes over my head & comes bounding down the stairs. Every weekday morning, it's time for loves. He sits in my lap & we share "loves". It's a great way to begin the day if I do say so myself. Unless of course, I hear BLPPPPP. And that's exactly what I heard this morning, much to the delight of my cherubic-like son.
As the day wore on & the kids were at school, my dear wonderful husband agreed to take me to the dentist. My crown fell out last night & so I needed to go and have them recement it. (Don't ask.....it just fell out okay?). It's wintertime in the Northwest & Old Man Winter is rearing his ugly head with extremely cold temperatures. With wind chill, Jack Frost is getting his fill of noses here. I'm bundled in my big winter coat as we're going to the dentist & I noticed the back windows were open. I politely ask my husband if he wants them open. I get the look & the answer "I farted okay?". "I didn't smell it", I say. Love covers.......
After dinner, hubby & youngest are working on a project for school. Focus. That's is what was needed by our son. Focus. Project is due on Wednesday. Do you think he's focused? BLPPPPP. Giggle, giggle, giggle. BLPPPPP. Giggle, giggle, giggle. BLPPPPP. Giggle, giggle, giggle. (Pray for mercy from his teacher when she sees his project).
I would like to say that is the end but as I'm typing this our eldest son walks by and...you guessed it.....BLPPPPP. Time to plug in my air freshener. Time to get a Christmas tree. Anything to make this house smell a little more girly, a little more girl-friendly.
Oh no......BLPPPPP.
RSPS Sunny
Working downstairs this morning, I heard our eldest son come downstairs to take care of his laundry (yes, he does his own laundry). I expected at least a 'Morning Mom' when he reached the bottom of the stairs. Is that what I heard? No. BLPPPPP is what I heard. I'm not quite sure how you spell the sound of a fart so please no critiquing my spelling. That is my best guess. Anyway, that was how I was greeted this morning.
A short time later, the pitter patter of the youngest one's feet echoes over my head & comes bounding down the stairs. Every weekday morning, it's time for loves. He sits in my lap & we share "loves". It's a great way to begin the day if I do say so myself. Unless of course, I hear BLPPPPP. And that's exactly what I heard this morning, much to the delight of my cherubic-like son.
As the day wore on & the kids were at school, my dear wonderful husband agreed to take me to the dentist. My crown fell out last night & so I needed to go and have them recement it. (Don't ask.....it just fell out okay?). It's wintertime in the Northwest & Old Man Winter is rearing his ugly head with extremely cold temperatures. With wind chill, Jack Frost is getting his fill of noses here. I'm bundled in my big winter coat as we're going to the dentist & I noticed the back windows were open. I politely ask my husband if he wants them open. I get the look & the answer "I farted okay?". "I didn't smell it", I say. Love covers.......
After dinner, hubby & youngest are working on a project for school. Focus. That's is what was needed by our son. Focus. Project is due on Wednesday. Do you think he's focused? BLPPPPP. Giggle, giggle, giggle. BLPPPPP. Giggle, giggle, giggle. BLPPPPP. Giggle, giggle, giggle. (Pray for mercy from his teacher when she sees his project).
I would like to say that is the end but as I'm typing this our eldest son walks by and...you guessed it.....BLPPPPP. Time to plug in my air freshener. Time to get a Christmas tree. Anything to make this house smell a little more girly, a little more girl-friendly.
Oh no......BLPPPPP.
RSPS Sunny
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)